I’ve been reflecting on my grandmother as I get older. She grows flowers in the yard and puts them in a vase on the table. As a kid, I watched her work around the house in the morning after her coffee and a cookie or two. Then she’d pause again at the table by her flowers to have a quiet lunch with my grandfather when he came inside from working on the farm. When I was little, I would sit with them too and enjoy a quiet pause alongside a turkey sandwich with lettuce, a slice of fresh tomato and a handful of Ruffles. I never felt rushed or in a hurry. Never thought I should be somewhere else. I was right where I was supposed to be at that kitchen table. And that’s the kind of life I want to live. It’s been a long and winding road to right back where I started. For awhile, I lost sight of what matters. Today I turned on the faucet and filled the vase with water for the flowers from my late summer garden. I’m growing sweet peas just like she did back then. I sat down with my plate and paused while I ate my lunch in a quiet, peaceful house alone. The kids will come home soon and maybe I’ll help with homework or listen to something funny that happened during 8th period. I’ll greet my husband when he walks through the door and put steak and potatoes on the table. I’ll fold the rest of the laundry and no one will notice when I pair their socks and tuck them neatly away. It might not seem like much, but I choose this. It’s how I wanted to spend this day. When I lay down tonight, I will reflect on what I have and have not done. And I will sleep well knowing that I love and I am loved. Tomorrow there will be more flowers and more quiet moments at home. And I’ll appreciate the stillness.
xoxo, Suzette